Bert never took his treasured out of his mouth. When he travelled down to Sydney, he was forced to share a rail carriage with a cranky old woman who objected to the pipe from the moment he sat down.
"I'll have you know that my husband is nearly seventy and never once has he put a pipe in his mouth."
Bert thought about this as he gently sucked at the tobacco.
"That so, missus? I should tell you that I'm nearly eighty and I've never put it anywhere else."
Another Great Aussie Yarn from Warren Fahey